Story of the branch:
“I’m going out for a walk!” I told my parents. Little did they know that I was on a vital mission – to hunt for the perfect branch. As I strolled out the front door, I was appalled by the forest of dying trees lining my front yard’s “garden.” Being the unfortunately lazy person that I am, I decided to stay in my arid territory rather than take a few steps to the vast forest trail in my neighborhood.
The sun’s downward glide was like a ticking time bomb. I only had about forty-five minutes before I would be forced back into the safety of my house. I scanned the few trees along my driveway. In the middle of the trees, I found the perfect mini branch that resembled a smaller tree – just what I was looking for! Being scared of nature, I examined the branch from a distance; I found my prey but how was I supposed to capture it? I stood a two meter distance away from the tree in case a forest creature made me the prey instead. Every ten minutes, I mustered the bravery to extend my arm out, almost touching the branch. Most of my time was spent mentally preparing myself to touch the nature-infected branch.
Two hours passed, way past my forty-five minute deadline. A crescent replaced the sun, which was nowhere in sight. I had to act quick. Maybe if I just kick the tree I can check for exotic flesh-eating bugs! I extended my leg out, ready to exert a kick; this was what my four years of taekwondo classes were for! Just as I was about to attack the tree, I noticed a black object sitting on one of the dying berries. It looked like a cricket with a scorpion tail. I texted my friends, asking them if they had heard of such a thing living in Texas; they had not. Flustered, I took a step back and saw multiple cricket-scorpions on the branches. I then heard a loud buzzed sound and peered upwards to see a giant wasp nest.
NOPE NOPE NOPE.
I ran inside my house, fortunate that I had not been stung. I sought the assistance of the bravest person I know – my mother. After calling me a baby, she took out a giant pair of pruners and cut the branch in half a second. Though I was still regaining my composure, I ran inside my house clutching onto the branch and cleansed it. Then, I immediately went to work on my Father’s Day present. At midnight, I had finished – hence the Snapchat caption.